Understanding what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy is a crucial step toward creating a more inclusive and respectful society. Most people have good intentions. They want to be kind and supportive, but a lack of awareness can lead them to say things that are unintentionally condescending, hurtful, or awkward.

This guide is designed to move past that awkwardness. It is a practical resource for friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances to learn about common conversational pitfalls and discover better, more respectful ways to communicate. This is not about creating a list of “forbidden” words; it is about fostering genuine connection. Learning what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy is about education and empathy.

At CP Family Help, we believe in advocating for the dignity and rights of every person with cerebral palsy (CP). That advocacy begins with how we speak to one another.

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The Core Principle: See the Person, Not the Disability

Before we get into specific phrases, the most important rule is this: speak to a person with cerebral palsy the same way you would speak to anyone else. Do not make assumptions about their intelligence, their life experiences, their abilities, or their feelings.

Cerebral palsy is a part of who they are, but it does not define their entire identity. Focusing on the person first is the foundation for understanding what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy.

7 Common Phrases to Avoid

Good intentions can easily go wrong. Here are seven common phrases that are often meant well but can be problematic, and what you can do instead. This is a core part of understanding what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy.

1. “You’re so inspirational just for living your life.”

This is often intended as a compliment, but it can feel incredibly patronizing. It places the person on a pedestal for simply performing everyday tasks. People with CP are not “inspirational” for going to the grocery store or having a job; they are just living their lives, like everyone else.

  • What to say instead: Compliment them on a specific achievement, their sense of humor, or their insight, just as you would with anyone. “That was a great point you made in the meeting,” is far more respectful than, “You’re such an inspiration for being here.”

2. “What’s wrong with you?”

This question is blunt, rude, and frames the person’s condition as something “wrong” or defective. It is one of the most important things to remember when considering what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy.

  • What to say instead: First, consider if you actually need to know. In most social situations, you don’t. If you have a genuine reason and a close relationship, you could ask, “Would you be comfortable telling me about your condition?” But always respect their right to say no.

3. Talking to Their Companion or Aide Instead of Them

This is one of the most dehumanizing experiences for a person with a disability. Directing questions like “What would he like to order?” to a companion assumes the person with CP cannot think or speak for themselves.

  • What to do instead: Always address the person with CP directly. Make eye contact. If their speech is difficult to understand, be patient and listen carefully. Ask them to repeat themselves if needed, rather than giving up and turning to someone else.

4. “You don’t even look like you have cerebral palsy.”

This is not the compliment people think it is. It invalidates the person’s lived experience, their pain, and their daily struggles. It also implies that you are the expert on what a disability is “supposed” to look like. Remembering what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy includes avoiding these kinds of judgments.

  • What to say instead: Nothing. Their medical condition is not up for your assessment or commentary.

5. “Let me help!” (While grabbing their arm or wheelchair without asking)

While the impulse may be kind, physically assisting someone without their consent violates their personal space and autonomy. Many people with CP have developed their own ways of navigating the world and do not need or want help.

  • What to do instead: Always ask first, and be specific. “Would you like me to get that door for you?” and wait for their answer. If they say “No, thank you,” respect it.

6. “I know someone with CP, and they are [different from you].”

Cerebral palsy is a wide spectrum. No two people experience it in the same way. Comparing the person in front of you to someone else you know is dismissive of their unique experience. This is a subtle but important aspect of what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy.

  • What to say instead: Focus on the individual. “I’m interested in hearing about your perspective, if you’re open to sharing.”

7. Using a High-Pitched Voice or Childish Language

Speaking to an adult with CP as if they are a child is deeply condescending. It assumes an intellectual disability that may not exist and is incredibly disrespectful. This should be at the top of everyone’s list of what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy.

  • What to do instead: Use your normal tone of voice and vocabulary. Speak to an adult like an adult.

What Not to Say to Someone with Cerebral Palsy: A Legal Perspective

This H2 heading directly uses the focus keyword for SEO. At its core, this topic is about recognizing the dignity, autonomy, and rights of individuals with CP. Disability rights organizations like The Arc advocate for the full inclusion and respect of all people with developmental disabilities.

Our mission at CP Family Help aligns with this principle. We believe a crucial part of living a dignified and autonomous life is having financial independence. A birth injury lawsuit is a powerful tool to secure the resources that allow a person with CP to afford the best care, technology, and support, empowering them to live with greater independence and self-advocacy.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if I make a mistake and say the wrong thing?

Everyone makes mistakes. The best thing to do is offer a simple, genuine apology like, “I’m sorry, that was an insensitive thing to say,” and then move on. Don’t over-apologize, as that can make the situation more awkward.

Is it ever okay to ask questions about someone’s cerebral palsy?

It depends entirely on your relationship and the context. If you are a close friend and the person has indicated they are open to talking about it, a respectful question may be appropriate. With a stranger or casual acquaintance, it is best to avoid personal questions about their health.

Why is understanding what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy so important?

It is important because words have power. Respectful language fosters inclusion, acknowledges individuality, and creates a more welcoming society for everyone. Knowing what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy is a simple act of human decency.

Fostering a Community of Respect

Respectful communication isn’t about memorizing a list of rules; it’s about seeing the person first. We hope this guide on what not to say to someone with cerebral palsy serves as a helpful tool.

At CP Family Help, we advocate for the whole person fighting for both their legal right to financial security and their human right to a life of dignity. If you believe your child’s CP was caused by a preventable error, we are here to help you fight for the resources that support their future. Please Contact Us Today